


Crowns for Kings; Kisses for Princes

by Tsunhimesama



Series: Crowns for Kings; Kisses for Princes [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 02:58:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1589165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsunhimesama/pseuds/Tsunhimesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin Arlert just started his first year at University, rooming with his best friend Eren and being helped around campus by his boyfriend Jean. Armin's life begins to take directions he never expected and he finally gets to come to terms with his haunting past and all the feelings he's buried deep. Lots of angst, lots of laughs, and definitely lots of cute dorks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

I reached over to the night stand and grabbed my phone to stop the racket. The bright light of the screen burned my eyes as I shut off the alarm. 7 am, Monday, August 5th. I kicked off the blankets and regretted it immediately as I felt the icy sting of the morning air. Why is it always so cold in our room? Maria was one of the oldest dorms on campus, so the isolation probably wasn’t the best, but the weather seemed particularly harsh for early August. I reached for the over-sized forest green sweater I had borrowed from Jean the week before and pulled it on in a vain attempt to warm myself up before heading to the showers. 

“Eren, wake up.” I sighed as I tried to shake my friend out of his slumber. I don’t know what he would do if I wasn’t here to drag him out of bed. Although, it was kind of my fault for making him take European history with me so early in the morning.

“Hnngh,” he let out a grunt as he turned away from me.

“Eren come on, if you want to shower before class you have to get up. And trust me, you need to shower.” 

“Tell me again why I let you talk me into this Armin?” was his sleepy reply. I smiled, both relieved that he was finally awake and because I could never get over how adorable he was when he was sleepy like this. Ugh, no. I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Even if my best friend was adorable, he was still my best friend. And besides, I was spoken for. 

Eventually we both made it out of our room and into the showers. Walking through the cold halls of Maria made me wish that we could have afforded a dorm in Sina. The dorms there were the best on campus and more like apartments than dorms really; they each had two large bedrooms with a shared bathroom, kitchen, and living area. We could have shared one with Jean and Connie, which I would have loved, but Eren could barely afford his tuition as it was and I was only here on a scholarship. But I guess it’s not so bad in Maria, the old brick walls were thick so I wasn’t disturbed by any of our neighbors when I was studying and in the end I got to room with my best friend. For which I was eternally grateful, I have no idea what I would have done if I had been forced to live with a stranger. The thought alone gave me chills. 

After we were ready we headed for the coffee shop nearest our dorm, which was quite a ways away from the main campus, but still within walking distance. Eren wasn’t really a coffee person, which always baffled me because he was so moody in the morning. He definitely could have used the caffeine and I practically lived off the stuff. The cozy building was already filled with students and other patrons; I paused to appreciate the wonderful smell of roasted coffee beans and fresh pastries. Eren grabbed a seat at an empty table near one of the large front windows and I went to order. 

“Good morning Annie,” I said and she gave me the slightest smile. Annie was always a bit cold, even to our friends, and she always wore a particularly deadly expression when she was working. But for some reason, she always made me feel welcome.

“Hey Armin, what can I get you?” was all she offered but there was a warmth in her voice that everyone knew was only reserved for me. I wasn’t sure exactly why Annie was always especially nice to me but I appreciated her kindness. We were never close growing up, but we seemed to have an unspoken bond. It probably had something to do with the way she found me crying in the girls’ bathroom the first time we met, but I didn’t want to think about that right now. I asked her for the usual, a small Macchiato with an extra shot of espresso. Even though I practically lived off coffee, I never could get used to the bitter taste alone, so I always opted for the sweeter drinks.

“Sure thing,” she said as I paid. I turned to head for the table Eren snagged for us while I waited for my drink and saw that Jean was already there. Oh, great. Even though Jean and I had been together for almost 3 years now, he and Eren never quite learned how to get along. Jean had a special talent for pissing off my best friend, but I was grateful that Eren always tolerated him, as best he could at least, for me. 

“Horse-face I swear to God, it is too early for me to put up with your shit. Just sit down and shut the fuck up.” 

“H-hey come on, are you guys fighting already?” I gave Eren a weary smile as Jean pulled me in for a hug. He tenderly kissed my forehead and gave me an apologetic smile. Jean knew I hated their fighting but I had come to accept it as just part of their friendship; if you could even call it a friendship. 

“Hey, sleepyhead, ready for your first day of classes?” Jean said with a smile. He was a year older than us and this was his second year at Trost. It had put a strain on our relationship last year; I was always worried he’d find someone better than me but as far as I knew he never strayed. Luckily, Trost was only an hour and a half away from our hometown so we saw each other over the weekends and breaks. Now that we went to school together, and he had helped me so much with the application process and selecting my classes for the first semester, I felt guilty for having ever doubted him. 

“A little nervous but that’s normal I suppose. I just hope my professors are nice.” I replied and I was nervous. In high school they always told us to try to get close to our professors; that if they knew our names and faces they were more likely to feel sympathy for us, or at least pay attention to our grades when the time came. But I was never very good at striking up conversations with people I had never met before, and it wouldn’t be any easier to engage someone so much older and smarter than me. I figured I would just study as hard as I could and try to be as active in class discussions as I could manage. However, Jean had assured me that none of that mattered; that the professors didn’t give a damn who you were as long as you filled in the right bubble on the tests. In a way, I hoped he was right, but at the same time it wouldn’t hurt to at least try to impress them. 

Not long after that, we walked together toward the campus. On move-in weekend, Jean had given me a map of campus and put little X’s where all my classes were so I wouldn’t get lost when he wasn’t around. It was through little gestures like that that Jean showed his affection. He wasn’t the gushy, lovey-dovey, feely type but he did care about me. 

“I gotta go meet up with Connie before our Chemistry class, so I’ll see you for lunch later?” Jean said pulling me in for a quick kiss. I saw Eren roll his eyes out of the corner of my vision before he turned to walk ahead of us. 

“Of course, text me later?” I said as I begrudgingly pulled away from him. Things had been so hectic lately, between moving my entire life into a tiny dorm room and trying to make sure I had everything I would need for class that I had barely got to spend any time with him. And every time we had been together, we hadn’t been alone. So I was really craving his affection. He pinched the fabric of my sweater, well his sweater actually, between his fingers and smiled at me.

“Are you ever going to give me my clothes back, or should I just go buy new ones?” he said with a chuckle.

“The only way you’re getting this sweater back is if you rip it off me right now,” I said with a challenging look. That would be enough to distract him until I saw him again around lunch time. The lustful spark I saw in his eyes was almost enough to make me skip class altogether, but of course I couldn’t, at least not on the first day. 

“Keep this up and you’re going to be late Armin,” the way my name rolled off his tongue made me want to melt into the floor. How dare he be so attractive so early in the morning, but he was right; I would be late, and we both had places to be. I gave him a peck on the cheek before running off to catch up with Eren, who had covered quite a bit a ground for having no idea where he was going. 

“Do you guys always have to make a spectacle of yourselves or do you just want to make me lose my breakfast?” Eren muttered when I caught up to him.

“Eren Jaeger, if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were jealous.” I teased. Of course, I knew better. I’ve always had a special place in his heart, but it was purely plutonic. Even after he came out junior year I knew I didn’t have a chance. I don’t exactly know when I had developed a crush on my best friend but I was more than willing to put all those feelings aside, as long as he was in my life. 

“He’s just not good enough for you. The only thing Jean would ever be good for is a dumpster.”

“Eren, Jean has never been anything but good to me. I know you two don’t get along but I think you would have let it go by now. I’ve already got Mikasa treating me like her kid; I don’t need you to start too.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’m just in a shit mood I guess, c’mon we’re gonna be late. Where the fuck are we going anyways? This campus is huge.” I smiled at his feeble attempt to change the subject. Eventually we came upon the large stone building that was home to the majority of the history classes. It was fitting that they would be held here, in such an old impressive building. It was the first structure they built at Trost, aside from the massive library that resided across the large lawn where many students would lounge about when it started to warm up. The two buildings were two-stories high and made out of large grey stones that had been cut into mostly square shapes. The window trims were painted a stark white which I’m sure once matched the large roman-esque columns that supported the roof over the building’s entrance. It was truly a sight to behold and it made me feel even smaller than usual. 

Our class was on the second floor, European History from 4000-1600 AD, Professor Erwin Smith, the name plate on the door confirmed. Somehow we managed to get there 10 minutes early, but by the looks of things, most of the students had gotten there early. It was an auditorium style classroom with raised seating and almost every seat from the second row back was filed. I heard Eren groan and I knew what he was thinking. Neither of us wanted to get trapped in the front row for the semester, but for very different reasons. I knew Eren was already planning to spend the majority of this class sleeping and copying my notes later, whereas I was just never comfortable in the front of the class. Even though I wanted to get to know my professors, the idea of having a front row seat and being scrutinized everyday made me a little more than uncomfortable. 

While we were still searching for a place to sit, our professor walked in from the back room, which was probably his office. He was a tall, well-built man, with a full head of blonde hair, thick eyebrows and the most gorgeous blue eyes I have ever seen. He didn’t look a day over thirty and, my god, he was handsome. I could already feel my cheeks begin to color when he started to speak.

“Welcome to Medieval European History, but don’t get comfortable just yet. Unlike many of your other professors here, my class will adhere to a seating chart. So everybody grab your things and sit where you are instructed, this is how I will be taking roll for the rest of the semester.” He said with a deep, authoritative voice and there was an audible groan from a majority of the class. 

He strolled over to the first seat on the left side of the front row, near the window, with a list in hand. I knew it was coming before he even said the words; of course it would be me. I don’t even know why I held out some vain hope that somebody would have a last name that came before mine alphabetically. If only Mikasa were here. Although that would probably mean we would both be stuck up in the front together. 

“First we have, Armin Arlert.” and I immediately froze in place. The way he said my name, with authority and kindness, the way his silky voice just slightly rolled the R’s in my name, it was almost… sexy. If I wasn’t blushing before I definitely was now. A small squeak escaped me as Eren nudged me, giving me a side-long questioning look. 

“Uh t-that’s me…” I said in the smallest voice as I cursed myself. Why was I already so flustered over this? Even if he was attractive, and my god was he attractive, he was still just my professor. I wrote the feeling off as my ridiculous fear of ever sitting up front in class and took my seat. At least it was near the large window that over looked the expansive lawn. 

“Arlert, is that German? Originated perhaps, around the 6th century?” He asked me as a sly smile spread across his lips. I had barely gotten to my seat and he was already testing me. Luckily I knew the history of my name, my grandfather was very proud of our heritage.

“Uh, y-yes! It’s Romanized German, it became popular around the dark ages. I think it means—“

“Derived from Arminius which means whole or universal, yes, I’m familiar with it.” He cut me off. I struggled to close my mouth and keep all the blood from rushing to my cheeks which, I’m sure, was a worthless attempt. As a history professor at a prestigious university I expected him to be knowledgeable but this, this guy really knew his stuff. “Welcome,” He said with a smile and returned to his list, proceeding to call of the rest of the names. 

I managed to get through the rest of the class with minimal distractions and blushes. Since it was only the first day and there wasn’t much to go over we were let out early. I told Eren I was going to meet Jean for lunch and that he was welcome to come, but of course he declined. We said a quick goodbye and I headed toward Sina to meet Jean at his dorm. The rest of the day went smoothly, he took me to a little bistro not far from campus and we had sandwiches. It was relaxing and I appreciated the time in his presence, even though I still longed for more intimate time together, I’m sure we’ll figure something out. 

I had two more classes after lunch: Art history with Mikasa, she was an amazing artist, and then English 101 in the evening with Eren, Sasha, and Connie. All in all, I was happy with my first day of college. It wasn’t too hard to find my way around thanks to Jean’s map and all my professors seemed either generally nice or just generally disinterested. After our evening class, Sasha and Connie invited Eren and I to some karaoke/open-mic-night at one of the local coffee shops. Eren wasn’t too keen on singing in a room full of people when he wasn’t drunk and I was a little bit warn out from the stress of my first day. We declined, not without defeated grumbles from the pair, and headed back to our room.

Eren and I picked up some Chinese take-out on our way back to our dorm and sang “Don’t drop that durka-durk!” As loud as we could until we actually made it inside our room. He turned some comedy on Netflix that neither of used really paid attention to as we pigged out on orange chicken and chow mein. It may have been our first real night in college together, but we had been having sleep overs practically every week for years. We were right at home as long as we were together. We wound up playing Halo on the Xbox until about midnight. I had actually planned on going to bed early but Eren kept insisting on rematches every time I handed his ass to him. It’s not that Eren was bad at video games, he’s actually pretty good; it just so happened that I was the King. 

That night the clouds that had been looming over the horizon rolled in and let out a massive downpour. Back at home I would have been able to sleep through it with my box fan blaring, and honestly I liked the rain, it was the thunder that bothered me. I was shocked awake by a particularly loud boom and sat straight up in bed. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust and I looked around the still unfamiliar room waiting for my heart beat to slow to a somewhat normal pace. There was a flash of lightening and long dark shadows were cast over the walls. It made me a bit nervous. Rationally, I knew there was nothing there. I was just in bed, Eren was across the room, and it was just rain. I thought that any other kid on campus was probably fast asleep or completely at ease with the weather. It had been years since thunderstorms hadn’t bothered me. I knew it wasn’t rational, to associate such a horrible thing with just some clouds, but I couldn’t help it. 

My mind dragged me back to the memories of when I was six. It had been raining all weekend and I was sitting in front of the fire place at my grandfather’s house, waiting for my parents to come pick me up from my visit. They never came. He had tried calling them several times to no answer and simply assured me that the traffic must have been bad. They were just late, that’s all. I had slept at my grandfather’s again that night. I had lied awake wondering where my parents were, shaking in my little four-poster bed every time the thunder quaked through the house. 

There was a loud boom and I shot up again. I was pathetic. I was supposed to be grown up and starting my life as a college student but here I was tearing up over a little thunder and eleven year old memories. I squeezed my eyes shut and gripped my sheets, trying to focus on my breathing. In, out. In, out. Everything is fine. In, out. In, BOOM. Suddenly, I threw off the sheets and was running to the other side of the room, tears streaming down my face. It hadn’t been this bad in such a long time, I could usually just quietly sob to myself and go back to sleep. Maybe it was the unfamiliar room, maybe it was because there was no other sound besides that awful thunder and the sound of my own erratic heartbeat, or maybe it was because there was someone else to go to; whatever it was, it had me climbing into Eren’s bed before I could gain control of my own limbs again.

“Armin, what the—what are you doing?” Eren said through sleepy sighs as I jostled him awake. Then his eyes snapped open with realization as lightening illuminated the room, exposing my tear streaked face and panicked expression. He just stared at me for a few seconds, waiting, and then the thunder came, the only confirmation he needed. He didn’t say anything as just scooted back against the wall, making room for me to crawl in, he didn’t have to. He knew how thunderstorms still affected me. He gently wrapped the blanket around us. I knew I shouldn’t have been there; I should have been able to handle myself by now, to sleep in my own bed. As the guilt of being such an inconvenience to him paired itself with the growing dread and fear that had taken root in my stomach, I couldn’t stifle the small sobs that shook out of me. 

“It’s okay Armin, everything is gonna be okay.” He said as he pulled me into his strong arms, softly rubbing my back in an attempt to calm me. I buried my face in Eren’s chest and just sobbed, giving in to all of the built up dread and panic inside me. I was never more grateful to have him as a friend as I was now. Eren wouldn’t make fun of me, he wouldn’t judge me, and he wouldn’t turn me away. No matter what and right now, that was all the reassurance I needed. After a while I finally fell asleep, in my best friends arms, the only safe place I had ever known since that night eleven years ago. 

I woke up early the next morning before sun rise, my alarm wouldn’t go off for another two hours or so and I relaxed into the soft mattress. We hadn’t moved much at all that night, which was saying something since Eren was usually such a violent sleeper. He still held me in his arms, a little more loosely now that he had relaxed in his sleep, and I was tucked under his chin with my head in his chest. He was snoring softly and I let myself get lost in the sound of his breathes. I leaned my forehead against his chest and smiled to myself. All the crushing waves of anxiety, guilt, and fear had passed now and I was content to just stay in his arms like that; whether it be for the next five minutes, or the next two hours, or the rest of the day, or for the rest of my life. 

All too soon reality set back in and grief tugged at the edges of my mind. He didn’t feel the same way, he never had, he never would. He had only done this because I freaked out last night, because I had been doing this since we were kids. It was just normal for him, to have to comfort me, to have to take care of me. It wasn’t right for me to take so much enjoyment out of his kindness, out of all the grief I had probably caused him. And even more than that, it was wrong for me to enjoy this, the feel of his arms wrapped around me, the scent of his skin and the sound of his heart drumming in my ears. Jean would have gone blind with fury if he saw this now, if he knew that this had happened before. 

Eren would never tell him of course, he had never once brought it up not even to Mikasa. But I knew, and that probably felt worse than anything. I knew that Eren would do this for me, no matter the trouble it caused him, and I would keep coming back. I knew the pain it would cause Jean, how betrayed he would feel, even if nothing really happened, and yet I kept coming back. How selfish could one person be? It wasn’t enough that I had the best friend I could ever ask for, or that I had a wonderful boyfriend who spoiled me like the princess he thought I was. It wasn’t enough. It had never been enough for me and I was selfish and wrong. 

I must have started to shake, I could already feel the hint of tears clouding the edges of my vision and I set my jaw to keep them at bay. I would not cry over my own self-hatred especially not in front of him, not now. I swallowed around the lump in my throat and took a deep breath, which hitched in my throat as I felt Eren’s arms tighten around me pulling me closer to him. He let out a low “hmm” and I twisted around so I could better angle my head up in order to sneak a peek at him. Had he woken up already or was he just dreaming? His arms synched around my waist at the sudden movement and he scowled a bit, eyes still closed.

“Hnn, babe… stop.” He said with a breathy grunt as he rested his chin on my head once again.

What the hell? What had he just said? There was no way I had heard him right, in all of the years I had been pathetically crawling into Eren’s bed he had never once called me Babe. I was frozen in place as my cheeks started to turn a rosy pink. I didn’t know what to do or if I even should do anything. He had either said it on an accident, in his sleep, or on purpose, very much awake. I wasn’t sure which was worse.

“Eren…?” I said quietly, testing. If he was awake, he made no move to indicate it. I relaxed a bit, right; of course it was an accident. He was probably just dreaming, about what though? I tried not to think about it. Having suffered through enough of my own self-loathing for one morning, I entangled myself from his arms and stepped onto the cold, hard wood floor of our dorm. 

“Armin?” Eren started sleepily, “Where are you going?” He wrapped the thick blanket back around himself.

“I uh, I just have to go to the bathroom. It’s still early, go back to sleep.” I said softly smiling at him. 

“Are you okay?” He was a bit more alert now, memories of the night before most likely surfacing back to his conscious mind. I cringed internally at the thought, I was a mess. 

“Everything is fine Eren, just go back to sleep.” I whispered as I silently slipped out the door. He did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren is a lot over protective and Jean turns out to be a bigger asshole than originally planned.

The rest of the week went by fairly smoothly. The only class I had any trouble with so far was European history. That had more to do with the fact that I felt like my professor was trying to toy with me, instead of any of the work actually being difficult. It was the strangest thing, whenever I would look up momentarily from my notes I swore I would catch him staring at me. He seemed to call on me more frequently than anyone else in the class, regardless of whether I had actually raised my hand or not. Eren had noticed it too and it put him on edge.

“I don’t like that guy,” he grumbled as we walked out of the class late Friday morning. “He stares at you like you’re a piece of meat, its fucking creepy.” 

“Yeah, it’s kind of been freaking me out too…” I let the sentence trail off. It’s not like there was anything I could do about it, right? Whatever interest professor Smith had in me, I would just have to grin and bear it till the end of the semester.

We were headed to the dining hall when I heard my name being shouted across campus by an obnoxiously loud voice. An obnoxiously loud voice that also happened to send shivers down my spine. Eren and I both instinctively turned around to see Jean lightly jogging towards us, a wide grin plastered over his sharp features. Eren let out a groan and rolled his eyes, facing back in the direction we had been headed. 

“Hey Jean,” I smiled up at him as he threw an arm around my shoulder, “Where’s Connie?” The two pretty much had every class together so it was rare that I didn’t see them together. I guess he must have been off with Sasha somewhere and that’s when I noticed that a taller, dark haired freckled boy was tentatively following behind Jean. Well this is new.

“He went to go get lunch with Sasha or something, but hey I want you to meet my friend! This is Marco.” He said it so simply, pleasantly, like having some strange guy following him around like a puppy wasn’t weird at all. Well, maybe it wasn’t, people made friends all the time right? I guess I was just being over protective. 

“Marco, this is Armin.” He smiled at the freckled kid and I noticed how he didn’t tack anything else onto my name. Just Armin. Nobody else probably would have noticed but it sent a tendril of irrational dread into the pit of my stomach. “Oh and Jaeger, I guess.” Jean added as an afterthought, probably more for Marco’s benefit than Eren’s.

I cleared my throat to get Marco’s attention back on me. “Hello Marco, I’m Armin. Jean’s boyfriend.” I tried to sound as friendly as possible and stuck my hand out to shake his, but I couldn’t help the possessive edge that leaked into my voice. I really was a horrible person, wasn’t I? Marco just smiled as he firmly shook my hand with his much larger one. Either he hadn’t noticed the edge in my voice or he was choosing to ignore it. Jean gave me a strange look I couldn’t quiet place as Marco stepped away from me again. 

“So where were you going? Your class just got out right?” Jean started, visibly less cheery than he had been before, his arm falling from around my shoulder to his side. I probably embarrassed him in front of his new friend but I didn’t have the decency to care, just like he didn’t have the decency to mention the significance of our relationship. I tensed up as I slowly felt the situation spiral out of control, or maybe it was just all in my head?

“ _We_ were just headed to go get some lunch, but for some reason I don’t think either of us are hungry anymore.” Eren shot through clenched teeth and I finally noticed how angry he looked. He was positively seething. 

“Who the fuck asked you, Jaeger? And the last time I checked you and Armin weren’t connected at the stomach, although I bet you fucking wish you could be you little shit.” Jean shouted the last part as he balled his hands into fists. I knew what was about to happen if I didn’t try to get the situation under control, I always had the job of being the mediator, but suddenly I didn’t want to stop it. Eren was defending me, in his own way, and it was more than I could do for myself at this point. 

“Fuck you! At least I fucking care about him, asshole! You haven’t even been there for him for the last year and then you start this shit? What, are you planning on getting Marco in the sack too!?” Eren was positively screaming and everyone within a miles radius had turned to watch the spectacle go down. Eren balled a fist in Jean’s shirt and poised his other above his head; ready to strike the second Jean said something else to piss him off. Which was absolutely were this was going if I didn’t say anything to stop it. 

“Guys, please, you don’t have to--” Marco attempted to calm the situation in a tentative voice but he was cut off when Jean started screaming again. The way he and Eren were glaring at each other it looked like they both were out for blood and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that it can and would come to that.

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, SHIT STAIN. AND I’M NOT THE ONE WHO’S BEEN TRYING TO DRAG GUYS INTO HIS BED! YOU DON’T THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO FUCKING DO IN THAT LITTLE ROOM OF YOURS?” And that was the last straw. Eren snapped and swung his fist as hard as he could into the side of Jean’s face just as I felt my heart plummet into the bottom of my stomach. Not only was it not worth mentioning that I was his boyfriend, but after all these years together, everything we had been through, he didn’t even trust me. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as the two lunged at each other and tumbled to the ground. I wanted to make it stop; I wished I had never said anything that had led to this in the first place. Especially since it didn’t even matter, Marco would have found out eventually. I hadn’t needed to prove a point but everything was on the table now, as my best friend and my more-likely-than-not-ex-boyfriend were about to kill each other. 

They were screaming and flailing and tearing into each other as a large audience swarmed around us. I couldn’t move and my entire body was shaking with fear and guilt and _anger_ as I watched them. Marco was trying to separate them to no avail; every time he would lift Eren up Jean would be throwing him back down again, every time he had held Jean by his arms Eren took the opportunity to pummel his face in. It was maddening and I silently prayed that somebody, anybody, would make it stop. _Please, just stop._

“Jean! Eren! What the fuck are you guys doing!?” Connie’s voice broke out through the crowd and my head snapped in his direction. _Oh thank the gods._

“Marco, you grab Jean!” Connie shouted directions at the freckled boy as he wrestled Eren up by the back of his shirt. _Oh, they had met already._ I must have been the last one to meet Jean’s new _friend_ and the thought made my head spin. I felt sick. 

“Get the fuck off me!” Eren shouted, spitting out a mouth full of blood. Connie was holding Eren’s arms behind his back as the brunette writhed against him, trying to regain control of his limbs so he could tear back into Jean.

“Calm down man! You’re gonna get into serious trouble, what the fuck happened?” Connie was struggling trying to hold Eren down; I had never seen him this angry before. His eyes were wide and crazed as more blood spilled down his chin.

Marco had managed to wrestle Jean to the ground but he slipped out of his grip and lunged for Eren again, it didn’t even matter to him that Eren wouldn’t have been able to fight back. _Stop it._ But Eren was faster, right as Jean’s face came up to his midsection he let out a wild kick and struck the dirty blonde right on the nose. I felt like I was going to be sick as I heard the loud _crunch_ of Jean’s nose breaking and more blood splattered the ground around us. _Just make it stop._

Marco tackled him again and I would have thought Eren killed him if I couldn’t see his body shudder with every ragged breath. He lied there, shaking under Marco and I knew the sight of it would haunt me in my nightmares. Eren was starting to calm down, drawing in one sharp breathe after another, but he still wore a deadly expression. My eyes flickered in his direction as he pulled his arms out of Connie’s grip, who was too shocked to hold him back any longer. He took a few staggering steps towards Jean who looked completely exhausted but was somehow still conscious. He leaned down and pulled Jean’s head up by his hair, forcing him to look into Eren’s wicked green eyes.

“You were right about one thing Kirschtein,” he spat Jean’s name, more blood splattering on the floor, but the way he spoke the rest words was so horrifyingly calm it send a cold shiver of dread up my spine. I wondered if I was hearing things correctly; maybe I was dreaming, maybe I would jolt awake in bed soon and see that Eren was softly snoring across the room and the world wouldn’t be falling out from under me. 

“I did have him in my bed. Just the other night, and that wasn’t the first time either. He’s been crawling into bed with me for years.” Eren drawled out each and every agonizing word, obviously enjoying tormenting Jean with my horrible secret. I wanted to scream, I wanted to deny everything, I wanted to vanish from the spot. 

“And I didn’t have to drag him there either, _Jean_.” He said the name with a sneer, his lips curving up wickedly around the edges. “He came to me willingly, on his own, every single time. I’ve always been able to give him something you never could and never will. You were just too damn stupid to figure it out.” After another brief moment Eren let Jean’s head drop to the floor and the loud _thunk_ that cracked through the air as it hit made me jump. Eren whipped the blood from around his mouth with the back of his sleeve and strode over to me, never taking his eyes off the floor. 

I hadn’t realized I was covering my face, tears staining the sleeves of my pastel blue sweater. I was still shaking, staring into Eren’s eyes trying to find some fraction of the boy I knew; the boy whom I had grown up with, who had been my best friend, who had never ever hurt me, who never told my secret to anybody. He wouldn’t look at me. He mumbled something like “I’m sorry” but it was less than a whisper. He grabbed my hand and dragged me away from the crime scene, headed back towards our dorm in Maria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter came a little sooner than I had planned but I think Im okay with that, a little action right of the bat is nice right? Chapter 3 is already under way so that will be done soon, possibly even this weekend, so check back for updates (: And if you want you can follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama.tumblr.com (:


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They boys go to Mikasa's house and Eren works on getting his life together.

We were silent all the way back to the dorm. We were silent when I led Eren’s exhausted body to the bathroom on our floor. We were silent when I wiped the blood off his face and tried to clean all the cuts he had acquired. And we were silent now, lying on our individual beds, both staring up at the ceiling. I would have thought he had fallen asleep, had I not kept glancing worriedly in his direction. I still felt sick. I didn’t know anything anymore. What had just happened? Had I really caused all this? Why didn’t Jean trust me? Why had Eren gotten so unbelievably angry? My chest hurt. The room was spinning around me and I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to say something, I wanted to say so many things, but how could I even start? Eren let out a sigh and with the way I jumped on my bed you would have thought someone shot a gun off in the tiny room. 

“I’m sorry…” It was quiet and he sounded like he was in pain. I just waited; everything I had wanted to say escaped me now. “Armin?” He sounded so defeated and maybe just a little bit scared. If anyone should be scared in this situation it should be me, right? I willed myself to look at him. My eyes met his emerald ones and he looked completely exhausted. His left eye was starting to swell and turn a sickly purple around the edges. His cheeks were puffier than they should be and his arm hung lazily off the side of the bed, as if the muscles themselves couldn’t be bothered to draw it up the rest of the way to rest on the mattress. I swore I could almost feel another piece of my heart shatter as I looked him over, all the bruises slowly coming to the surface now. My chest hurt. 

“Armin, please… say something.” He was begging. I saw fear in his eyes but I wasn’t entirely sure what he was so afraid of. If it was me being angry at him, he didn’t have to worry; for some reason I wasn’t mad at him at all. Yes, he had over reacted. Yes, things had gone way too far. And yes, I was furious, but not with him. As far as I was concerned all he had done was try to defend me, to protect me like he always had. How could I possibly be mad at him for that? When it was one of the things I relied on most in this world. I had always taken solace in the fact that he would always be there to protect me; whether it be from bullies, or stupid jerks that didn’t trust me, or my own memories clawing at my sanity. He was all I really had in this world and it had been that way as long as I cared to remember. 

“I don’t know what to say…” I started, slowly, calmly. And it was true. He flinched. My chest hurt. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, any of that. I’m a shitty excuse for a friend.” He turned onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. His voice waivered on the last part, but he kept going. “I just… I don’t know. I wanted to protect you, he was obviously parading that guy around in front of you and it just… it made me so angry.” He cut himself off, neither of us wanted to relive what had just happened.

“I shouldn’t have told him that. I wasn’t even thinking, Armin, I swear; I never wanted to hurt you. I know we never really talked about it before, but I knew that was supposed to be a secret.” He choked out a sob and threw his arm over his eyes. I could hear the pain in his voice and all I wanted to do was crawl over there and hold him against my chest. I wanted to kiss away all the bruises and heal all his cuts and tell him everything was okay. I wasn’t mad, not at him, never at him. I knew he didn’t do it to hurt me. But I couldn’t will myself to move, I just stared at him as he continued. “Armin, I’m so fucking sorry!” He blurted it out between sobs. 

“Eren…” I swallowed around the lump in my throat and waited for him to look back at me. After a moment he did and slowly nodded. “It’s okay. I’m not mad at you.”

“Y-you’re not?” His eyes widened and his voice rose in disbelief.

“It’s not your fault…” I started and then my eyes fell to the floor as I tried to keep my emotions under control. “I was the one that started it in the first place. I was the one that got unnecessarily jealous when I should have known what would have happened.” I blinked and the tears that had been welling in my eyes fell to the floor. 

“No.” Eren said firmly, sitting up in bed. “No, Armin you do not blame yourself for what happened. It’s his fault for being such a careless asshole and mine for losing my temper.” His fists were balled again and I couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry or punch the wall. It was probably both.

“No Eren, that’s not normal! It’s not normal for me to get so upset over the fact that he made a new friend! It’s all my fault!” I knew I had started shouting but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Everything I had been bottling up for god knows how long was coming out now. “If I wasn’t so weak and scarred all the time then maybe—“ Then Eren shot up and closed the small distance between us. He pulled me into his arms and buried his face in my hair.

“Stop it. Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that. It’s not your fault. You never did anything wrong.” He cradled me in his arms as we fell back against the wall, sitting on my bed. I buried my face in his shoulders and let him gently rock me. I was so tired, so emotionally drained; I just wanted today to end. I felt soft sobs shudder through me again but I was too weak to contain them now. I felt myself let go and just let everything pour out of me. “There’s a lot of things I can protect you from, Armin. But I can’t protect you from yourself.” He spoke softly into my hair. It made me sleepy, almost like the faint beginnings of a lullaby. “But I have to try… I won’t let you tear yourself apart over this. You deserve so much better than him. You deserve so much more…” And somewhere between the sweet words he whispered in the small space and gentle hands stroking my hair, I fell asleep.  
\----  
The next morning I woke up to the sound of my phone vibrating violently against my nightstand. I was tucked into the covers and Eren was sleeping peacefully in his bed across the room. I grabbed the phone and typed in my password with one eye open. 5 new texts, 3 missed calls. All from Mikasa, _great_. She must have somehow found out about the incident yesterday, probably through Annie. I really didn’t feel like rehashing it with her but I knew I didn’t really have a choice in the matter. I answered her texts, telling her that everything was more or less fine and that we’d come over later.

After a few minutes she answered. _You’re both coming over right now or I will drag you here myself._ It’s not like I was surprised, I just wanted to sleep. I checked the time, 11:42 am, had we really slept that long? I expected it of Eren, he didn’t wake up before noon on a normal weekend let alone after what happened yesterday, but I was lucky if I could ever sleep past 9:00. I rolled out of bed, I was still in my jeans from the night before and they felt itchy against my skin. I dragged myself over to the closet in search of something comfortable to wear; it was just Mikasa’s house after all, I could have gone in pajamas if I wanted. Eren probably would. I shook my heavy pants off and left them where they landed on the floor. I didn’t feel like myself, I felt dense and slow. My throat was sore like ragged screams had been clawing their way out of it all night long, but I don’t remember having any nightmares. My hair felt dirty and fell a little too flat around the edges of my vision. I needed a shower, but all I wanted was sleep.

“Wake up,” I said as I gently shook Eren. I was trying to be careful; hyper aware of the bruises that had made their way all along the surface of his skin, but my voice came out harsh. He stirred and mumbled something, but made no move to open his eyes. I sat on the edge of his bed, my hand still resting on his shoulder.

“We have to go to Mikasa’s today. She wants us to go now, actually.” That seemed to stir his attention and he glared. Not at me, even though his eyes were trained on mine, but at knowing what kind of reaction Mikasa would have when she saw him. Of course, she knew that Eren got into fights all the time in high school; we had both hoped that would die down when we got to college. _So much for that._

“I don’t want to. You go. Tell her I wouldn’t get out of bed.” He said as he turned on his stomach, hiding his face in the pillow.

“Do you really think she won’t come here and drag you out herself? Come on, Eren please, she’s been calling me all morning. We don’t need to make her angry on top of everything.” 

“Fine. I’m up.” He wasn’t.  
\-----  
Mikasa was pacing back and forth in front of us. We were sitting on the couch waiting to be scolded like two little kids when Annie came into the living room, carrying hot mugs of coffee. _Salvation._ I took one of the mugs and thanked her; Annie always made the best coffee. Eren didn’t take one and Mikasa finally looked at us. She had already checked Eren over about fifty times when we had showed up to her little apartment on the east side of town. She knew just exactly how bad the damage was and I had begrudgingly filled her in on the parts of the story she didn’t already hear from Annie.

“I’m gonna kill that asshole.” She sighed out of her nose. Of course she didn’t blame us, no matter how bad Eren or I could mess up she would never blame us for it; especially when we deserved it. 

“I knew letting you stay in the dorms was a bad idea,” she was talking to Eren but she purposefully didn’t specify. She wanted us both here but that would have been more of a burden than a peace of mind for her. 

“Mikasa, I’m sorry. It was my fault; Eren was just trying to protect me. I should have handled it better. I should have stopped them.” I finally decided to speak up. And it was true; I should have known how Eren would react when I got upset about the whole thing. I hadn’t expected for it to spiral out of control so fast but I easily could have stopped it. For whatever reason though, I hadn’t and now Eren’s many bumps and bruises added to the weight of my guilt.

“Armin…” Eren looked at me, his eyes pleading. Memories of last night flooded my mind; _It’s not your fault. I won’t let you tear yourself apart._ I sighed, my chest still hurt.

Mikasa saw our exchange and decided to drop the subject, for the time being at least. We probably looked defeated enough as it was. “You guys have at least been taking care of yourselves right? You’re not just eating take out every night?” Always the worrier. Eren and I just looked at each other; we really hadn’t spent much thought on our eating habits. 

“Actually…” I started and she could tell by the guilt in my voice that her suspicions were true; we were totally hopeless. “We don’t exactly have a lot of money so… when we’re not eating at the dining hall we just get something cheap on the way home.” 

“You guys know you can always ask me for help right?” What she really meant was _I’ll give you money_ but she knew neither of us would sacrifice our prides and ask for it. We’d figure something out, we always did. 

“Actually, I was thinking about getting a job.” It was the first thing Eren said since we’d gotten to the apartment. “Armin needs to focus on his grades obviously so he can’t work but I could do something part time.” He was protecting me again, willing to let his own grades suffer to keep us afloat. 

“I can work!” I said a little too aggressively, Mikasa raised her eyebrows in challenge. “I can work and keep my grades up, it can’t be that hard.” 

Mikasa had started to shake her head when Annie spoke up from across the room, “Actually, we have a spot open at the coffee shop.” 

“Do you think you could get them to hire me?” Eren said, a bit hopeful. I hadn’t considered that he may actually want this. Maybe it would be good for him; to have something to do outside of class other than acting as my personal body guard. Not to mention it would give me some alone time. It would be easier to study without him swearing into a headset at some kid online as he _died for the fifteen time, seriously._

“I could put in a recommendation, but you’d still have to fill out an application.” Annie sad flatly, as she eyed Mikasa for some reassurance, “He can behave himself right?” 

“I promise I’ll do whatever you tell me to, okay? I can handle it.” He was earnest, taking it as a personal challenge to prove himself a competent employee. Annie nodded and our conversations turned more casual as we enjoyed the day with our sister. We had spent the majority of our childhoods together and it felt weird to be separated now, even by such a trivial distance. I guess we were finally growing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh, i gotta say. This chapter was a bit more difficult for me to put together than the other two but it needed to happen for future events. That being said, I look forward to chapter 4 being more eventful.  
> And as always feel free to follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama (:


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Eren is a tease and Armin has a hard time dealing with it. Also, the boys start part 1 of a horror marathon.

Two weeks had passed since we spent the day at Mikasa’s and Eren and I had settled into our new routines. He would work Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons and I would use the alone time to get the majority of my homework out of the way. Then I’d spend most of Saturday hounding him to get his work done but that usually just ended in us playing video games until 2 am. I’d probably have to be more stern with him if I wanted him to keep his grades up but for now we were enjoying the peaceful pattern we had fallen into. 

There was one thing that had been bugging me though and I was afraid it was more obvious than I wanted it to be. Eren and I both had avoided the subject most of the time but I always caught a worried look on his face when he’d catch me checking my phone for the hundredth time that day. Jean still hadn’t called. Actually, we hadn’t spoken at all since the fight. It was normal for him to need a few days to cool his head after something big like this but two weeks seemed like an absurd amount of time. Every time I thought about it, which was more often than I cared to admit, it made my chest ache. I was still angry with him of course, which is probably why I didn’t just call him myself, but even more than that I was just hurt. Maybe I wasn’t worth calling; maybe the years we spent together didn’t mean anything to him anymore. Maybe it was easy for him to move on, because he found someone else to move on with. 

“Ugh, he’s such an asshole!” Eren sighed loudly as he walked into our dorm room, making me jump in my seat and stirring me from my thoughts. “Seriously, Armin you wouldn’t believe this guy. The midget actually had the balls to call _me_ puny today!”

It was Friday, so that meant Levi, Eren’s boss, had been at the coffee shop during his shift. According to Eren’s colorful descriptions; Levi was a sour old man who liked to compensate for his small stature with more than creative insults and the occasional toilet humor. Eren also thought his boss hated him but he was probably reading too much into it. If Levi couldn’t at least tolerate him, Eren wouldn’t have been working there, even with Annie’s recommendation. 

“You know, if you don’t like it there you can quit. We have a little money still saved up and I can look for a job too.” I felt bad for him. Eren had only been working two weeks and he came home every day with a bitter look on his face and something to complain about, not to mention the fact it would start to affect his grades if he didn’t buckle down. 

“Huh, no way! After I made Annie push me through? She’d kill me if I tried to quit now. And besides, I actually kind of like it.” He threw me a sheepish grin and I knew he meant it. “I mean, yeah, the costumers are assholes and I have to deal with the troll every week but other than that, it’s actually not that bad. And if I save up we can get Dark Souls…” He said the last part in a sing song voice and I knew he was baiting me. I had been lusting over that game since the announcement trailer. 

“Fine, but only stay because you like it. And you still have to keep your grades up.” I tried to sound firm but I probably looked like a little kid giving orders. He smirked at me and I knew what we were both really thinking; _Do it for Dark Souls._

“Praise the sun!” He laughed and threw his backpack on the bed before grabbing a towel and moving back over to the door. He cocked his head over his shoulder waiting for my response.

“Praise the sun.” I said and with that he headed towards the showers.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Eren came bursting back into the room when I was lost in thought again. For some reason I seemed to be extra jumpy lately, I guess a lot was on my mind. I looked up to ask him something but the words died in my throat and my mouth hung open at the sight of him. I had seen Eren shirtless before, both growing up and now that we roomed together, but I always made it a point to look away before I started staring. But this was different. He had come into the room with a towel barely clinging to the sharp edges of his hips, chest glistening, and water still dripping from the fringes of his hair. He gave me a questioning look and I remembered my mouth had been gaping open and snapped it shut. _Say something._ I began to panic at the prolonged silence.

“W-where are your clothes?” I managed to stammer out.

“Huh? Oh, I forgot to grab clean ones. Why, am I bothering you?” He smirked at me and sashed over to the closet. _Is he messing with me!?_ I couldn’t help but watch as he walked; swaying his hips, back muscles rippling.

Suddenly my phone vibrated on the desk and I snatched it up in an instant. Distraction. It was from Mikasa. _How are things holding up? Annie says Eren’s been good at work, how does he like it so far? Miss you guys, stay safe._ I typed out a reply; informing her that things were fine and that Eren has been complaining nonstop, but otherwise enjoys it. 

“Hey, you should probably call Mikasa soon. She worries about you.” I turned in my chair to face him. He threw his head back and ran a hand through the long strands of his still dripping hair. _Oh my god, Eren stop it. Why are you still shirtless?_ I was staring again, but it was hard to look away. He was tall and lean with abs far too defined for someone who never worked out. He was _perfect._

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He said as he slipped a hoodie on, _thank god_. “I think I’m gonna go grab dinner, anything you want?” Normally I would have offered to go with him but I had a very specific plan for what exactly I was going to do while he was out. I wracked my brain for the restaurant the farthest away from our dorm, within reason of course. 

“Actually, uhm, it’s kind of far but I’ve really been craving some Mexican food from that one place on 10th…” I tried to look just a tad pitiful. 

“Aw, come on that’s like a twenty minute walk!” He started in protest.

“Please, Eren… I’ll make it up to you.” Okay, I was laying it on thick but I _needed_ to get him away from here as long as possible.

“Ugh, fine! But you owe me… sure you don’t want to come with?” 

“Nah, I gotta finish reading the last of this book for English.” _No I didn’t_ , I already finished it. I gave him a smile and he left again, finally. I waited till I heard his heavy footsteps retreat down the hall and double checked to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything before I locked the door to our room. 

I looked around the empty room and tried to find something to distract myself with, not quite prepared to give into my shame. I had finished all my homework, so that was no good. I tried reading but I couldn’t seem to focus on the words. I kept catching myself spacing out and my thoughts always lead me back to Eren with his soft, dripping hair, hard muscles, and _god that smile._ I don’t know why I was so nervous now, it’s not like I hadn’t done this before. But this was different, I’d never let myself think of my best friend that way before and now I couldn’t push the thought out of my mind. I groaned out loud and plopped myself down on my bed, staring at the ceiling. After a while I couldn’t ignore the hardness that persisted in my pants and with shaking hands I got undressed. 

I opened my computer and randomly selected some music, turning it up louder than usual. _You’re being paranoid; it’s not that big of a deal._ I took a breath to calm myself and slowly began stroking my length, closing my eyes and letting my mind drift where ever it pleased. I remembered one summer Eren had spent the weekend with me at my grandfather’s house. How we had gone to the lake nearby and how he looked with beads of water rolling down his chest. I remembered how we had wrestled on the floor of my room and he had pinned me on my stomach by lying on top of me. I remembered how heavy he felt, and how hot his skin made me, and the sound of his low voice as his breath made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. 

I felt myself relax into my bed sheets as I worked my hand faster, spreading the bit of wetness that had seeped out around the head with my thumb. I imagined what it would be like if Eren was the one doing it, if it was his tongue swirling around my most sensitive areas. A soft moan slipped out of my lips and my hips bucked up slightly. I felt myself getting lost in the imagery. If it was his hands on me; clinging to my back, fingers lazily swirling patterns into my chest, stroking me. I imagined how his mouth would run over me and how he would lay soft kisses all the way down my chest. I wanted him more now than I ever had before. I’d never let myself indulge in thoughts of him but now I was cursing myself for not doing so earlier because it felt so _good._ He would feel so good and the thought of it was enough to blow any guilt or apprehension out of my mind.

I wanted to feel him; I wanted to feel his strong rough hands grabbing me and pushing me up against the wall and making me his. I wanted to feel his hot ragged breath on the side of my face as he pumped into me. I wanted him to bury his hands in my hair and I wanted to moan for him like I was now. I wanted to make him feel better than he’s ever felt and I wanted to scream his name. I turned over onto my stomach and drew myself up on my knees. I wanted it like this, I wanted to be on all fours and feel his weight on top of me. I wet one of my fingers and slowly began to push it into my entrance. I was grunting into my sheets now and I couldn’t imagine what I must have looked like but _I didn’t care._ I pushed a finger into myself and began working and stretching my hole. I didn’t take the proper amount time to adjust before I stuck another finger in and began probing myself. My hips ground against my own hand as I got lost in the thought of him.

I remembered the night I had snuck into his bed and how he’d wrapped me up in his arms. I remember the way I felt pressed against his body and the way he smelled like sweat and dark spices. I began stroking my aching need again with my free hand as I pushed into myself over and over again, crooking my fingers against my prostate as a loud moan tore from my throat. I was panting and sweating and my legs started to shake but I kept going, feeling a familiar tension beginning to form in my lower abdomen. I imagined his nails digging into my hips holding onto me with coarse hands; thrusting into me over and over again, sighing my name through ragged breaths. I pushed my fingers as deep as they could go and with one final hard pump on my length I heard his name tear from my throat as I came onto my bed sheets. 

I fell over onto my side as I drew my fingers out. I lied on the bed like that for a few moments trying to regain my breath before I checked my phone for the time. He’d be back soon and I didn’t want to look like a hot ragged mess when he did. I got up and tried to compose myself, wiping the sweat off my forehead and shaking out my hair. I threw a large sweater and some probably-too-short-shorts on as I balled up my soiled bed sheets and threw them in the hamper. I dug the spare set out of the closet and as I was in the process of making my bed there was a hard knock on the door. _Oh crap, he’s back already?_ I was hoping I’d have more time to process the shame. 

I unlocked the door and sure enough there was Eren holding two large bags of food. He pushed passed me making his way into the room and I shot a confused look at him. After setting the food on our desk he final turned to me, “So, what are we doing tonight?” He sounded nervous for some reason. Then I remembered what I had been planning. I dug out my copy of _Silent Hill_ and held it out to him, a wicked grin distorting my features.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Armin, no!” He recognized the cover and started protesting immediately.

“But Eren, it’s one of my favorites and you still haven’t seen it.” I said with a pout. I thoroughly planned on torturing my poor friend tonight. Who would have though such a hot headed, loud mouth couldn’t handle a simple horror movie?

“I hate you so much Armin. Fine, this is it though?” He looked at me suspicious. _Oh, no Eren. Of course this isn’t it._ I felt the grin widen on my face as I searched through my rather impressive game collection. I pulled out a single case and handed it to him.

“I was thinking we could have a marathon…” I drawled, a look of sheer horror spreading on his face.

“You have got to be shitting me. You can’t make me do this.” But I knew I could. I was a horrible person for this but seriously, how could you not play the _Silent Hill HD Collection_? It was a survival horror classic and I made it my responsibility to educate him. 

It was still light out and I told him we had to wait until dark to start our horror marathon. I put on a Louie C.K. stand up special while we ate our food, allowing him to escape his impending fate just a little longer. Eren, tough as he was, was a big baby when it came to anything horror related. One Halloween when we were kids, we went through a haunted house someone in the neighborhood had set up. I was terrified, of course, and clung to him like a sloth to a tree. And Eren had waltzed through it feigning bravery, until someone in a Michael Meyers mask lunged at him with a fake chainsaw. Ever since then, Eren wouldn’t go near horror stuff unless I was pushing him into it. In this one aspect, our roles were totally reversed. I was the protector and eh was the helpless child. Maybe that’s part of why I liked it so much.

Another factor had to be that it was totally safe. Rationally, I knew that no one would hurt us and that we could walk out at any time. I think that’s why I enjoyed getting scared so much, even when Eren wasn’t around to make fun of, because it wasn’t actually real. Because no matter how terrified I was, ultimately I had control. If a movie was too bad, I could turn it off. If haunted houses were too much, I could walk out the emergency exit. If a video game freaked me out too much, I could turn the lights back on. It was a luxury I didn’t otherwise have in real life. I couldn’t stop bullies, I couldn’t control nightmares, but horror games and movies gave me full control. Eren on the other hand, didn’t think that way. So when night had finally fallen and we had finished eating, I popped the movie into my console and turned off the lights. 

“Armin come one, leave the lights on at least!” Eren said positioning himself in bed, barricading himself in a pillow fort.

“No way, the mood has to be right otherwise you won’t get the full experience.” I didn’t keep the smile off my face as I scooted into bed next to him, removing the pillow he had in his lap. I wasn’t going to let him hide behind it like he usually did.

He frowned, turning toward the screen as the title theme played. “I hate you.”

“I know.” And I pressed play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoped you enjoyed it! I think i've decided to do updates on Wednesdays so check back for that(: and as always you can follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys watch most of a scary movie and we get a change of setting as they head out to a party!

_This is bad. This is very, very bad._ I knew Eren freaked out any time we watched horror movies, and I knew he usually took to hiding behind pillows to shield himself from whatever monsters we happened to be occupy our time with, but what I did _not_ expect was for him to completely curl into my side, holding on to my sweater for dear life, like he was now. We had gotten to the scene in Silent Hill just after the sirens blared signaling nightfall, and the protagonist had been running through the halls as the world melted away, giving way to the nightmare I was so familiar with. For Eren however, this was all a total shock and he seemed to be dealing with it by whimpering into my side. It was all I could do to keep my breathing even as my heart beat furiously in my chest. I hoped that if he heard it, which I’m sure he would, he would account it to the movie and not the fact that his presence alone was enough to give me a heart attack. 

The protagonist had made it to the girls’ bathroom in the decrepit nightmare world’s school house. She began inspecting the stalls slowly; searching for the creature I knew would be hiding there. Eren, anticipating a jump scare I’m sure, buried his face into my chest and wrapped his arms around me, shaking his head and letting out muffled, “No, no, no, no. Don’t, oh my god.” and “Armin I hate you so much, why?” If I wasn’t so nervous I might have laughed at the sight of him. I could already feel the blush seep into my cheeks as I timidly pat his head. I really wished I hadn’t done this. We had been close like this together before sure but the need for him was still very fresh in my mind. Having him so close like this; looking to me for shelter, even if it was just from some horror movie, was both exhilarating and terrifying. What if he noticed I was acting weird? What if he figures out that I’m practically in love with him? 

“E-Eren it’s not that bad really.” My voice came out shakier than I had thought and he looked up at me with a pout. 

“Are you okay?” My eyes widened, I wasn’t expecting that. Was I really so obvious? Had I already blown it? “Your cheeks are totally turning red dude, oh my god.” He said with a laugh as he lightly pinched one of my cheeks, mocking me. 

“I-I’m not—This is just a scary part!” I tried to find an excuse but the smirk on his face told me he wasn’t buying it.

“Damn Armin, I know you’re gay and all but is it really so hard to control yourself?” He said wiggling his eyebrows. I cannot believe this. Here he was whimpering into my side like a child no more than ten seconds ago and now he was mocking me for being embarrassed. Suddenly, I wasn’t so much regretting the decision to torture him with a horror film but kicking myself for trying to comfort him. I’d have to remember to be merciless next time. 

He took my silence as confirmation and began squirming his way into an even more intimate position, sliding his leg in-between my own and pressing our chests together. His nose was mere centimeters from touching mine and the look he was giving me was one part amusement, one part seduction, and one part something I couldn’t quiet place. He fluttered his long lashes at me a few times and any coherent thoughts I might have had went completely out the window. It was supposed to be a joke, I was sure, and the gesture should have looked ridiculous. It might have on anyone else, or if I wasn’t so hopelessly attracted to him, but the way he did it made his emerald eyes shine and I all but melted where I lay.

“Am I really that hot, Armin?” He was trying to sound sexy and dammit it was working. “You look like you can’t even think straight.” I tried to stammer something out, but it was all muddled nonsense. Then suddenly, something on his face changed. He looked almost serious and his eyes drifted up and down my figure a few times, as if he were searching for something. When he looked at me again, it was soft. The teasing smirk had drained from his face and he looked, maybe I was imagining it, but he almost looked nervous himself. I felt him steadily inch closer, just slightly, and he looked at me through hooded eyes. 

“Armin… I—“ He was cut off by the sound of my phone going off. It was so sudden and loud in that quiet intimacy it made us both jump and he landed on the floor next to the bed with a loud thud, looking utterly bewildered. The sight of him like that, wide eyed and blushing, like a deer caught in head lights made me burst out in uncontrollable laughter. He cursed at me and kicked the side of the bed as I doubled over, tears streaming down my face. It took a few moments for me to quiet my giggles.

“Alright damn, it wasn’t that funny!” He said in protest.

“You look like you got slapped by a ghost or something! Eren, I can’t breathe it hurts!” My sides burned as tears welled up in my eyes. How could he go from scared stiff, to unbelievably attractive, to the idiot on the floor I was looking at now? Perhaps it was all part of his charm.

“Well you deserve it.” He pouted, “Who texted you anyways?”

I had almost completely forgotten what had broken our awkward embrace. I reached over to the nightstand and unlocked my phone. It was a message from Mikasa. _You guys want to come to this party with me and Annie tonight? It’s at this girl Ymir’s house. I miss you guys, stay safe._ Ymir? The name sounded vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place it, it must have been one of Annie’s friends. I wasn’t really much of a partier; I preferred quiet nights at home where I could catch up on whatever I was reading but maybe it would be a good change of pace. And it would give both of us a chance to recover from… whatever that just was. 

I tossed him the phone and he gave me a questioning look once he had read it.

“Could be fun?” I smiled and shrugged. “We really should see our friends more.”

I guess… but I thought you didn’t like that kind of stuff? And besides… it was kind of our night to just hang out.” He didn’t look at me when he said the last part, but he almost sounded disappointed.

“Oh, so you do want to finish the movie then?” I said throwing him a smirk of my own. That got him up, finally, and he was already changing into proper pants when he replied.

“Oh hell no, you’re right. It could be fun.” He shot me a grin over his shoulder. It was settled then; we were going to a party.   
\------------------------------------------------------------------------

About twenty minutes later, after I had sent a confirmation text to Mikasa and we had both made ourselves semi-presentable, Reiner and Bertold had come to pick us up in front of our dorm building. Reiner had pulled up in a flashy new black convertible that he was immensely proud of and no matter how cold it got; he refused to put the roof up. Eren and I had once joked about how it was just so his boyfriend wouldn’t hit his head on the roof every time he got into the little sports car. 

“Long time no see, Armin!” Reiner said with a grin, sharp teeth gleaming off the setting sun. 

“Long time no see for Eren too. How have you guys been?” I said with a smile of my own. I hadn’t really seen either of them since early summer, when Jean had dragged me to the beach to hang out with them and a few of our other friends. I wonder if they still talk to him as much, seeing as how he seemed to be quiet occupied with his new friend. I chided myself at that; I really should try not to think about Jean tonight. I needed a night just to have fun with my friends, free of worry. 

“Actually we just saw your boy toy not too long ago, eh Eren?” Reiner said with a wink and Eren gave him a nervous laugh as we stiffened in our seats. 

“Oh stop teasing them.” Bertold gave his boyfriend a playful smack on the arm and with that Reiner pulled away from the curb, whisking us off to a night of teenage debauchery and underage drinking.

It didn’t take long to get to Ymir’s house. When we pulled into the driveway the music was already shaking the foundation of the little one-story house and cars were lined up and down the street. We made our way inside and were immediately greeted by a tall freckled woman and her small blonde companion. Ymir introduced herself to us and welcomed us to her home, explaining her few simple rules and encouraged us to have fun. She seemed like a generally nice person but she made one thing absolutely clear, she did not tolerate fighting of any kind. 

“I don’t appreciate when little shits come in here and ruin the vibe with their bullshit. Any argument you have you can settle with a death match game of beer pong. But you don’t look like the type to cause any trouble, huh shorty?” She gave me a smile and pulled the small girl next to her in closer. I assured her we wouldn’t be any trouble and she pointed us in the direction she had last seen Annie, who I hoped would lead us to Mikasa. 

We made our way into the main living room and were greeted by a familiar group of people. I used to think that going to college would have thrown me into a world full of strangers and that most new social situations would have left me to fend for myself. But seeing as how our university was only a few hours from home and that most of our friends were hell bent on staying together, it seems like we all just flocked to the same place. We said our hellos to Connie and Sasha, who were snuggled up on the couch, as Reiner and Bertold came over to hand us some drinks. I gave Eren a look of warning, as he tends to “forget how many beers” he’s had, and he ignored me as he popped open his can of cheap beer. 

After a few minutes of idle chatter, Mikasa finally came to meet us, dragging Annie close behind. She let go of Annie’s hand, only briefly, to pull Eren and I into a warm embrace. Eren, who had been a little tense since we got here, seemed to ease up in her presence. It was nice to be reunited again, regardless of the setting.

“I’m glad you guys decided to come out. You’re always cooped up in that room together; we hardly get to see each other anymore.” Mikasa said while she ruffled Eren’s hair with her free hand.

“Yeah well, me and you are always working and Armin’s got enough studying to keep him busy for the rest of his life.” Eren said shrugging her off.

“Speaking off how do you like work?” It didn’t seem to matter that Annie was right there and probably already told her exactly how much Eren had been complaining. 

“It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but I can’t stand our pushy midget of a boss.” Eren said as he took another sip of his drink, mine remained unopened. 

“I told you, the guys got a real Napoleon complex.” Annie cut in, the beginnings of a smirk tugging at her thin lips. Annie always seemed impossibly emotionless and stoic, but there was something about Mikasa that brought out her more expressive side. 

As their conversation drawled on, I found myself scanning the open layout of Ymir’s house. There were both familiar faces and a few total strangers milling about comfortably in the space. It was impossible to tell what conversations they might have been having over the loud thrumming of the music, but everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. In the dining room, Reiner and Bertold were in what appeared to be a very intense game of beer pong against Connie and Sasha. Ymir and her blonde, who I later learned was named Krista, were entertaining some unfamiliar guests in the kitchen. Everything was rather pleasant and I began to feel my anxiety melt away. I was in a safe place, surrounded by my friends. Maybe tonight was going to be exactly what I needed.

My eyes continued to scan the rooms until they landed on a very familiar two-tone haired boy and his companion who had just walked in the front door. I stiffened as I felt my stomach plummet to the floor, a knot forming in my throat. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Jean since the fight a few weeks ago and apparently some small part of me had hoped everything between us would be okay. But by the way he had his arm causally snaked around the waist of that freckled hid, Marco, it was obvious that we were in fact not okay. I’d even go so far as to say that _we_ weren’t even a thing anymore, just like that. No explanation, no confirmation, no ‘talking it out’. We were just over, out of the blue, after all those years. 

“Hey, what’s—oh.” At some point Eren must have noticed how stiff I had gone because his eyes followed mine until they landed on the new happy couple. Then he did something I hadn’t been prepared for. Just as Jean’s eyes found mine in the crowd, I felt Eren throw his arm over my shoulder and pull me in close, blocking most of my body from Jean’s view. He took my chin in his free hand and angled it up so that I faced him. I was still frozen in place and the room seemed to be spinning around me as he leaned in closer, his nose brushing the side of my cheek as he whispered in my ear, “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.” He pulled back and gave me a reassuring smile, which I had started to return until I felt his hot lips gently press against my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter came out kind of late, its finals week and I'm in full procrastination mode. But anyways! I hope you guys liked it and look forward to next week(: I hope the cliffhanger doesn't bother you too much and as always you can follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama <3


	6. Chaper 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken idiots. A new friendship is born. And everyone has got a lot of explaining to do.

Eren synched his arm around my waist and pulled me close, pressing my body against his hard. My eyes went wide as his lips connected with mine, soft at first but then harder, needy. I shakily lifted my hands and grabbed both his shoulders, fisting my fingers in the lose fabric there, just holding him not sure of whether I wanted to pull him closer or push him away all together. All too soon he pulled away and looked into my eyes for a fleeting moment before throwing a daggered glance at Jean. He looked between us, eyes searching for something, before he grabbed Marco by his elbow and pulled him into another room away from us. Our intended audience gone, Eren stepped away from me and merely shrugged. “Sorry about that.” He was still staring off into the space Jean and Marco had just vacated, brows furrowed. 

My head was reeling. What the hell was that? Where had that come from? My hands were still shaking in the air where he had been and I dropped them to my sides. I couldn’t think straight and I felt tears welling up in my eyes for any number of reasons that shouldn’t have put them there in the first place. I tried to speak but my voice caught in my throat behind the huge lump that had formed there. I couldn’t look at him. I had to get out of here, it was hard to breathe and I couldn’t stop shaking. My feet began to move of their own accord. I didn’t feel attached to my body anymore, I didn’t feel _real_ anymore. 

I found myself heading to the empty bathroom in the hallway and locked the door behind me. I faintly heard Eren calling my name but I didn’t care. My back pressed against the cool wood of the door and I slid to the floor trying to calm my breathing. Everything was fuzzy, I couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think straight and I was still shaking. At some point I must have grabbed the unopened beer can Reiner had given me. I chugged it both for the distraction and to wash the taste of him out of my mouth. _It didn’t mean anything._ I told myself. Then why the hell had he done it in the first place? Just to spite me? Just to piss off Jean? Either way all he had accomplished was taking away my chance to reconcile with Jean. Maybe he had already moved on, maybe he and Marco were already together, but I could have still talked to him right? There was still a chance we could have been okay and the last three years of my life wouldn’t have been a colossal waste of time, right? But not anymore, Eren had made sure of that, for whatever reason. 

I had managed to calm my breathing a bit when I heard a timid knock on the door. It could have been anybody and I didn’t want to answer. If it was Eren I couldn’t face him right now, if it was Mikasa I’m not sure if I would want to face her right now, I didn’t let myself imagine that it could have been Jean. 

“A-armin? Are you in there?” It was Marco. I’ve only heard him speak a few times but I knew it was him by process of elimination. I hadn’t thought he’d ever come for me, so I wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“U-uh yeah, sorry. Can I have a minute please?” My voice sounded shaky and I cursed myself. Of all the people to show weakness too, he was probably the worst. 

“Can we talk? Please, I know we don’t really know each other but…” he paused for a while and sounded almost as timid as I was to let him in. “I brought beer? I know I’m probably the last person you want to see but… I’d really like to talk.” I don’t get it. Even if Marco was a nice person I don’t understand why he was being so nice to me now. He had what he wanted right? He had Jean and I was old news. Despite my better judgment I opened the door a crack, I guess curiosity won over sanity. 

He shuffled in to the tiny bathroom and I locked the door behind him. He gave me a soft smile before looking down at his feet and handing me a beer. It was cold and I cracked it open without a thought. I’d never been a drinker before, at all. The first and only time I’d ever had alcohol was once at a party in high school Jean had dragged me to. He told me to taste his beer and it made me gag, he laughed but he never asked me to drink again.

“Did he send you here?” I purposefully didn’t specify _who_ might have sent him after me. These were definitely uncharted waters and I didn’t want to give him any more help or information than was absolutely necessary to get him talking. 

“Jean? Ah, no. I saw you storm in here and… I just wanted to see if you were okay I guess. Maybe, uh, it was a little selfish too but I figured this might be the only time I could talk to you alone. Sorry…” He sounded like he meant it. I slid down the wall and relaxed, somewhat, on the cool tile as I nursed my beer. Neither of us looked at each other. 

After a long time of neither of us saying anything I’d finally had enough. The alcohol was starting to take effect now; I guess that’s why they call it liquid courage. I cleared my throat and started, “So uh… what did you want to talk about?”

“Oh, right. I guess there’s no easy way to say this, huh… Well I wanted to ask, what happened between you two? And I also wanted to explain what happened with… us. I don’t know which we should start with, sorry.” _Us._ So they were together then. Well, fine. It’s not like I had a chance at fixing things now anyways. I cringed at the thought. 

“Right. Well, I guess I’ll start then? And you just… fill me in along the way.” I took the last swig of my drink before opening another one and began to tell him the story. The fight, what happened after, why I never called, what I think might have caused it. I’d briefly pause between bits to take a swig of my drink and before long I found myself confiding in him. I told him about everything. Mine and Jean’s past, what he meant to me, I even told him about Eren. I told him about our childhoods, how much he meant to me, why it cause Jean and I to grow apart and our relationship to strain, I told him about the thunderstorms and the night I’d spent in Eren’s bed. I don’t know what came over me, honestly. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was because I had been holding everything in for so long that I couldn’t stop it now. Or maybe it was just because it’s easier to talk to a stranger, someone who only knows what you tell them and they blindly take your word for it.  
By the end of it all, I’d finished my fifth beer, I was exhausted and tear stained and somehow, I had wound up in his arms. I think he had done it to comfort me in my drunken, sobbing, train wreck of a condition and I couldn’t be bothered to care right now. He stroked my hair and rested his chin on my head. He’d nod occasionally but mostly he just listened and whispered “I’m sorry.” We just laid there for a while, empty beer cans strewed across the floor, just letting the words hang in the air, take shape, and settle. I curled into my knees and he started to braid my hair, it felt nice. Despite everything that had happened, despite the fact that he may or may not have stolen Jean right out from under me, intentionally or not, I liked Marco. I could tell he was a good person. He was kind, and attentive, and comforted me even though he had no obligation to. 

“So that’s about it.” We were whispering now, even though the loud thrum of the party on the other side of the walls ensured no one would hear us regardless. He sighed and leaned back against the sink cabinets, cracking open another beer. 

“Right. Well… just so you know nothing was happening between us the day of the fight. In fact, nothing happened for a long time. I know how things must have looked to you but honestly we were just… fast friends I guess. You probably don’t want to hear about it, but—“ He had started to trail off when I interjected.

“Actually, I do want to hear about it. I don’t think I’ll be able to talk to him any time soon so… I’d at least like to know what happened.” He nodded and began telling his side of the story.

“Well, we first met in our English class. We had to get into groups and analyze some essay I can’t remember the name of and I guess we just happened to be sitting next to each other. He started making fun of the author’s pompous tone and irrational parallels between modern day social issues and those of late eighteen century England. Anyways, I don’t know. We just started talking and we wound up getting coffee together after class. I know that sounds bad too but it was totally friendly, Armin I swear. After that we just started hanging out, he told me about all his other friends and eventually he introduced us.” He paused again and I nodded, urging him to continue. He took a drink of his now warm beer and smiled down at it. “He talked about you a lot too, you know. He talked about how smart you are and how he never really felt good enough for you but was too stubborn to leave. He talked about you and Eren. I guess he was worried, he doesn’t trust Eren and I don’t know… maybe he thought he was trying to turn you against him. We don’t really talk about it much.” He smiled sheepishly at me and took another sip of his drink.

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes trying to let it all sink in. Was it that Jean didn’t trust me? Or was he just insecure? Maybe there was something I could have done but then again maybe it was for the best. There was a million questions running through my mind but I shook them off. Marco’s silence had left the room feeling stale and strangely absent. 

“So… are you guys, you know?” I don’t know why I didn’t just say it, _together_ ; I guess the wound was still too fresh, even after our weeks apart.

“Well, no not exactly. There’s… something there. I don’t think either of us realized it at first but when we did well, things got complicated. He wanted to talk to you but he was sure you hated him. I think he was scared, that if he talked to you and things _didn’t_ work out that he would lose you permanently and I know he doesn’t want that. I think he believes that Eren has turned you against him and maybe that’s why you didn’t call. Either that or you we just so mad you refused to talk to him. He’s been really upset about it. I told him you two need to talk but he’d just get upset or angry if I pushed too much, so I let it go for the most part. But after what Eren did tonight, well… I have an idea of what he must be thinking. And if you still want him in your life at all, you’re going to have to talk to him, Armin.” Marco was sweet but he was also serious and I could tell he didn’t take Jean’s emotions lightly. I nodded in agreement and said I would talk to him, just not yet. I still had too much to figure out with Eren before I tackled that mess and I was too tired to move as it was. Marco and I cracked open the last two beers and clunked the cans together in a ceremonious cheer. 

“I hope we can still be friends, Armin. No matter what you and Jean decide… You know I like him of course, but if you two decide to stay together I’m not going to hold it against either of you.” He smiled and I knew he was being sincere. I really liked Marco and even though I was still torn up about things, I knew he’d be good for Jean.

“Of course we can still be friends.” I said and pulled him into a hug; he didn’t hesitate and wrapped his arms around me. “And thank you, for everything.” I leaned back and smiled up at him. There something about drunken heart-to-hearts on bathroom floors that really brings people together. We must not have heard the knock on the door, because suddenly it was swinging wide open and there stood a very confused Jean and a wild-eyed Eren. Marco and I looked between them and then back at each other, and suddenly we realized just how close we were and what we must have looked like to them.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I fucked up. I fucked up._ Eren thought to himself as he began scanning the crowd in a panic. Why had he done that? He wasn’t sure what came over him. Seeing Jean look at Armin like that just made him feel so… _possessive_. He’s pretty sure he wasn’t completely in control of his body when he had done it. But it had came so easily to him, pulling Armin in close like that, staring him right in the eyes and claiming his lips as his own. The sound of his name tearing form Armin’s lips muffled by their bedroom door rushed to the front of his memory like a runaway train. He’s been fucking up all over the place today. He shouldn’t have let Reiner and Bertold give him a ride earlier when he went to go get food for them. And he _definitely_ shouldn’t have been spying on his best friend as he… oh god, stop thinking about it. It almost seems like that was days ago now, the simplicity of them watching scary movies in their dorm room together a distant memory. A simple normalcy in their relationship he wasn’t entirely sure they would have tomorrow. Maybe he could try to blame it on the alcohol? Although, he hadn’t had much to drink yet. What could he say then? _Oh, yeah. I was just trying to piss of Jean even though I know you still care about him, haha sorry buddy. Better luck next time?_ God, he was such a fucking idiot. 

He hadn’t paid attention to which direction Armin had stormed off in, he was too busy glaring at Jean to think about how his best friend might have reacted. Why did he always _do_ shit like this? Was it just too damn hard to think for fucking once? He mentally kicked himself as he began tearing through the crowd. He’d start in the back of the house and work his way forward, he would have to find him that way right? He’s pretty sure he didn’t go outside and if he did he didn’t have a way home anyways. Reiner and Bertold were too busy sloppily making out in their drunken stupor to take him anywhere and Armin wasn’t the type to interrupt anyways, no matter how badly he wanted to get out of there. 

He was just making his way to the other side of the crowd when he felt someone crash into his backside. Eren spun on his heal, fist already raised, prepared for the worst. It wasn’t like he was _looking_ for a fight; it was just that he was always prepared for one. He looked up and saw that it was Jean who had nearly knocked him on his ass, his usually smug face turned down into a frown and he looked a little bit panicked. Of all the assholes to run into him, of course it had to be Jean. 

“Have you seen Marco?” Jean let out in a rush, not even making a move to yell at Eren or insult him or indulge in any of their usual pre-brawl banter. Well that was weird, to say the least.

“Uh no, I’m looking for Armin though have you seen him?” Jean glared at that. They stared at each other for a few minutes and without saying anything Jean grabbed him by his wrist and tugged him towards the back of the house, where Eren had already been headed.

“No, but I suppose I need to talk to him too. Shit.” Jean cursed under his breath. Eren wasn’t completely sure what was happening but he decided it was best to put their hate for each other aside to find their... _friends_? Shit, he wasn’t even sure anymore. He wasn’t sure of anything. He just needed to talk to Armin, he wasn’t sure what he would say and he’d probably sound like an asshole anyways but he just needed to see him. 

They began searching; checking every room in the house and asking every familiar face they saw if they had seen their missing friends. Everyone just shook their heads, a few asked what was wrong, but neither of them cared to explain. After checking the third bedroom, _damn Ymir’s house was a lot bigger than he thought_ , Jean slammed his fist down on a night stand. 

“Dammit, we’ve checked fucking everywhere? Where the hell could they be?” And suddenly it clicked. Where could two people go to be completely alone during a raging house party where no one would bother them?

“Bathroom!” Eren shouted and Jean’s face lit up. How had they both managed to miss it? Idiots think alike he guessed, or maybe it’s that they _don’t_ think. They both raced out of the room and towards the hall bathroom which, of course, was locked. Jean went to knock but then they both heard Armin’s shaky drunken laughter, followed by some hushed words by Marco. Jean froze, his hand hovering above the door, probably lost in thought. But the sound of them had lit a fire under Eren’s ass and he rammed the door with his shoulder, swinging it wide open. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I looked between Jean and Eren and then back at Marco. He smiled and whispered in my ear, “You should talk to him.” I nodded and he let me up. I walked over to the door and took Eren’s hand, we had a lot to discuss and I wasn’t entirely sure what I planned on saying but I knew I had to deal with him before I could even try to work things out with Jean. One mess at a time I suppose. I paused before walking out the door and smiled at Jean, there wasn’t much I could say but I wanted him to know that I wasn’t angry and a smile was the best I could come up with. His lips lifted slightly but he still looked utterly confused as I dragged Eren out of the small bathroom and down the hall. I settled on an empty bedroom as the best place for our discussion and I ushered him into the room as I closed the door behind us. I leaned my head against the cool wood panel for a moment to collect myself before I turned on him. 

Eren looked like a mess. His eyes were still wide and save for the panic on his face, his expression was unreadable. I went and sat on the edge of the bed and patted the spot next to me, motioning for him to sit. He did and the sudden change in weight made me lurch to the side and right into him. I was more drunk than I thought but I suppose I was still thinking clear enough and this couldn’t wait. He tentatively wrapped an arm around my shoulder and we both laid back, dangling our legs off the edge of the bed. I took a deep breath and then turned to look at him; he was staring up at the ceiling.

“Well, care to explain what the hell happened back there?” He nodded and I gave him another moment to collect himself. He sighed and then he started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been encouraging me and supporting me through all of this! I love your guys' comments and I read them all(: This is my last week of finals and then I'm more or less free! So I look forward to that. And as always you can follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama (: <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what to say about this chapter. Any plan I had has gone completely out the window now, these boys just do whatever the hell they feel like. But anyways, I hope you enjoy it!

We settled back into the bed and I rested my head against his arm, our feet dangling over the edge of the bed. We were silent for a while and after I prompted him again, Eren began to explain what exactly had happened between us tonight. 

“I’m sorry Armin… I fucked things up. I wasn’t thinking about you when I did it, I guess I wasn’t really thinking at all.” He pulled me closer into his side but he didn’t look at me when he said any of it. There were a lot of things I wanted to tell Eren at that moment, but I stayed silent. Interrupting him now wouldn’t help our situation and I needed to know more. I needed to know _why_. After a while I understood that he either wasn’t getting it or he couldn’t think of the words he needed, so I pressed further.

“Why did you do it though? I mean… It’s not like… Uh…” I cursed myself as I faltered. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it; ‘you don’t like me’ because even though I knew it was true, it just hurt too much to say out loud. I tried again, “I just don’t understand any of it Eren, I know you hate Jean but… well it was just selfish of you! Even if you hate him you didn’t have the right to go and do something like that! Whatever you were _trying_ to do, protect me or something? I don’t know but all you _did_ do was hurt me! I don’t even know how to talk to Jean now and even though I already know it’s over between us… I just—“ Suddenly it was all pouring out. Everything I had been bottling up for the past few weeks, my anger at both of them, my anger at myself, there was no holding back now. I had started to shake and I had raised my voice considerably. I had told myself I was going to be calm about this, try to be understanding, but I was still considerably under the influence and not in complete control of myself. Everything I had said was true though and even though I hated myself for it, I didn’t try to take it back. He had hurt me and he needed to know it. 

“Armin… I know. I fucked up, okay? I really, really fucked up and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about your feelings, I was just being selfish. I don’t know what came over me but I… I just couldn’t stand the way he was looking at you. I couldn’t stand seeing his smug face with his arm wrapped around some guy, and him still looking at you like he owned you or something. I wanted to piss him off and I wanted to…” He trailed off but I knew there was more. There was something he wanted to say and I needed him to say it. I didn’t hope for a minute that it would be what I wanted to hear, but I needed to know why it mattered so much. He had always hated Jean and they had always fought more than was necessary but now it seemed there was a reason for it. Something I had never been able to figure out and I needed to know it now.

“Finish what you were going to say, Eren.” He finally looked at me and what I saw in his eyes was a swirling mixture of pain and confusion and… if I didn’t know better I’d say he looked scared. Fear wasn’t something Eren showed often, even after all the scary movies I made him suffer through; he never once looked like this. And what hurt the most was that he was looking at _me_ like this. I was supposed to be his best friend in the world, someone he could confide in, someone who shared everything with me, but he looked terrified of me now. I don’t know what I could have done to put that look on his face but I wanted to erase it immediately. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything was okay and I wasn’t mad, even if that was a lie. But I was also terribly selfish, and my undying curiosity couldn’t be subsided until he told me what I needed to know, so I only gave him a soft smile before saying, “I need to hear it, whatever it is Eren I need you to say it.”

He nodded once and returned his attention back towards the ceiling. “I wanted to show him… that you weren’t his anymore. I wanted, I don’t know Armin, I guess I just wanted to show him you were… mine. I hated the way he looked at you and I wanted to take it away from him. I wanted to take you away from him.” He let out a shaky breath and was silent for a long time, gauging for my reaction or perhaps he was just waiting for me to _have_ a reaction. I’d just laid there, silent, because I still didn’t understand. So he had been wanting to take me away from Jean this whole time? I suppose that was understandable, seeing as how much he hated him, but that still didn’t explain anything else. If he wanted to take me away from Jean there were a million other ways he could have done it. 

“But… Eren I still don’t get why—“ Suddenly he shifted on the bed, swinging his legs over me and straddling my hips. He pressed our foreheads together and his eyes bore into mine. My mouth hung open as I gasped and I was struck silent by the sudden movement. 

“Because Armin… Because I can’t stand the thought of you in someone else’s arms anymore. Because I can’t stand the way he looks at you. Because I don’t want you to be sad over him anymore or over anyone else again. Because…” He dropped his head lower, his lips barely hovering over my own as the tips of our noses crushed together, he whispered, “Because I love you.” He pressed a soft kiss onto my lips and stayed there. I should have been shocked, or upset, or _something_ other than completely elated like I was now. Maybe it was the alcohol that was still in my system causing me to not be able to think clearly but for the moment, I didn’t care. I leaned into his kiss and he crushed our mouths together, deepening the kiss. It was hot and heavy and needier than I ever would have imagined it to be. I felt him snake an arm under the small of my back and I arched slightly against him, allowing him to wrap himself around me. He groaned and rolled his hips into mine and a soft moan escaped my lips. He took advantage of it and slid his tongue into my mouth, mingling it with my own, probing, exploring. Instinctively, I reached up and tangled my hands in his hair, pulling him down closer, his body pressing into mine. He rolled his hips into mine again and I bucked up in response, gasping into his mouth. 

All too soon he pulled back and looked into my eyes. My head was swimming and the only thing I could focus on was the weight of his body on mine and the taste of him in my mouth. It wasn’t nearly enough and I wanted more. I’d always want more of him. I realized that now, I would never be able to go back to suppressing my feelings for him in order to protect our friendship, at least not entirely. I hoped I’d never have to. Even though I didn’t know what this was or where it was going, I knew I would let him do anything to me now. I had been wanting this for too long and I wasn’t nearly sober enough to care about any of the consequences our actions might have. I just needed him now, any way I could get him. 

I lifted up; trying to capture his lips again and he pushed me down by my shoulders. I couldn’t read the look on his face but it wasn’t what I wanted to see. _Of all the times to start thinking, Eren now is not one of them._

“Armin, say something.” His eyes searched mine and I didn’t know what it was he was looking for. Wasn’t how I felt about him obvious? Wasn’t it painfully obvious how badly I wanted him? 

“What do you want me to say?” It was an honest question.

“I don’t know, anything! I mean, Jesus Armin! I just told you I loved you, what you have nothing to say about that?” 

“What, Eren… do you want me to tell you I love you back? Because if you don’t know that by now, you don’t know me at all. I’ve always loved you. I loved you when we were five and you’d hold my hand when I cried. I loved you when we were nine and you beat up the bullies for me. I loved you when we were fourteen and I ran away from home because my grandpa didn’t accept me for being gay. And you let me climb in through your window in the middle of the night even though your dad would have kicked your ass if he ever found out. I loved you every time you held me during every thunderstorm. I loved you every time you defended me, every time you’ve been there for me, every time I’ve woken up and your face was the first thing I saw or your voice was the first thing I heard, or your words were the first thing I saw on my phone screen. Eren, I have always loved you.” 

“What… how… Why the hell didn’t you ever say anything!?” He wanted to be angry, I could tell, but he couldn’t help the smile the plastered his face. He leaned down and kissed me again once on the lips, once on the corner of my mouth, slowly working his way down my jaw, down the side of my neck, and planting kisses on the juncture between my collar bones and my neck. He buried his face in my hair and breathed a sigh of relief into my ear, sending shivers up my spine. 

“We’re so stupid.” He laughed and it was true. “I really am sorry though. I didn’t have the right to do something like that.” He was more serious now and I knew he meant it, but I didn’t care anymore. Jean and I may have history, and of course I had loved him as well, in a way, but this was different. This was Eren and he was everything I had ever wanted.

“It’s alright.” I murmured and stroked his hair as he peppered my neck and collar bones with feather light kisses. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It was probably already over before any of this even happened.”

“You’re not mad though?” He said with a soft concern in his voice.

“Not really, he has Marco now. And I feel like they’d be a lot better together. Besides, everything I’ve ever wanted is right here.” I felt the smile spread across his lips and he came up to kiss me again and we both melted into it. 

Feeling more confident now, Eren pushed his tongue past my lips and kissed me deeply. He explored all the corners of my mouth and I pushed right back into him. His arms snaked around me and I wrapped one hand into his hair as I snaked the other under his shirt, running my hands along the tone muscle of his back. He bit my lips and it made me gasp, but I wanted more. I wanted him all over me and I wanted him to mark me. If he wanted to make me his he had full permission now and I didn’t want him to hold back at all. He rocked his hips into mine and I spread my thighs wider, allowing him as much access as he wanted. His erection grinding against my own and it made my head swim. His lips pulled away from mine again and I whimpered at the lost, before I gasped as he sunk his sharp teeth into the crook of my neck. My hips twitched in response as pleasure mixed with just a hint of pain shot through me. 

I knew by now his pants had become uncomfortably tight and I wanted to free him of that. I wanted Eren to feel as good as he made me feel. I freed my hands from the tangles of his hair and started to pop the button on his pants when he stopped what he was doing and looked up at me in shock.

“What?” I didn’t understand the sudden confusion on his face, wasn’t this what he wanted? What we both had wanted? There was no way I could have read this situation wrong, not with everything we said and the taste of him still fresh in my mouth.

“I just… really? You want to? Here? I thought we could go home first where uh, we had more privacy.” _Oh… that made sense._ I smiled at the fact that he called our run-down-old-excuse-of-a-dorm-room _home_. For us, I suppose it was.

“I would but… how do you suppose we get there? Reiner and Bertold are probably drunk off their asses by now and I don’t really feel like trying to walk from here.”

“Shit, you’re right.” Then I was pulling him down into me again, crushing my lips against his and licking my way inside. My fingers slid down his zipper and I reached into his boxers, lightly running my fingers against the tip of his length before I freed him completely. I began stroking him and he gasped into my mouth, kissing me deeply and pressing himself into me for a moment before he pulled back again.

“What if someone walks in?” He said nervously glancing on the door, which unfortunately had no lock. I’d never taken Eren for the nervous type. It might have been amusing if I hadn’t needed this as badly as I did now.

“Dammit Eren, I don’t care. I just want you to fuck me and we can deal with the shame later.” He looked completely shocked and taken aback by that, which caused a mischievous smile to spread across my lips. Eren may have been my best friend for as long as I could remember, but there were still things about me he didn’t know. Sides of me he’d never seen, which meant there were sides of him I’m sure I’ve never seen and the idea thrilled me. I wanted all of him, in every way possible, and I was starting tonight. 

He pounced on me, pushing me into the bed by my shoulders and hungrily sucking at my lips as I began to stroke him again. He moved one hand to unbutton my jeans and used the other to steady himself above me. He moved to bite at my collar bones again and thrust his hips into my hand as he freed me of my jeans. And just then, as if called on cue by some cruel twist of fate, we heard the door creak open and Jean was just walking into the room, the beginning of a sentence I didn’t hear dying on his lips as he took in the sight of us.


	8. Part Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Jean finally have their long needed talk and we see how all these relationships resolve themselves.

There was a long pause of silence; Jean looked between me, with my pants half pulled down, and Eren, who had my legs wrapped around either side of his hips. Eren looked between Jean and me, with a look of sheer horror on his face. Then after a moment Jean shut the door while Eren let out a loud “shit” and started to disentangle himself from me. 

“Sorry, I uh—shit… Armin I kind of need to talk to you.” Jean’s voice came slightly muffled from the other side of the door. “Uh… I’ll just go wait outside.” And then I heard his heavy footsteps trudge down the hall. I took a moment to weigh my options but it was useless. The moment was already ruined and this might be my only opportunity to clear the air with Jean. I started to buckle my pants before I turned to Eren, I didn’t know if he would be mad but I just hoped he understood that this was something I had to do. I couldn’t move on with my life until I had addressed my past. Eren and I couldn’t move forward until I got rid of all this left over weight with Jean. He sighed loudly and laid back on the bed, arms casually supporting his head, and I longed to nuzzle into his side. Hopefully, I would have another opportunity later.

“I need to go talk to him…” I said slowly, testing the waters, gauging his reaction. Eren sighed again, obviously disappointed but he didn’t seem angry, which was a relief. 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll just go find Mikasa or something… take your time okay?” He smiled and squeezed my hand in reassurance. I knew I should have never been worried at all. I didn’t have to worry with Eren. Sure, he was hot headed and more than a little dense at times, but he was my best friend. He always had been and he always would be, no matter what happened between us. We’d always put each other first and I knew we always would. I squeezed his hand back, pecked him on the cheek, and made my way out of the room.

The night air was much colder now than it had been when we’d arrived at the party and I wrapped my arms around myself, already missing Eren’s warmth. I found Jean sitting on the curb in front of Ymir’s house, beer in hand. I took a seat down next to him and shivered as the cold sidewalk robbed me further of my warmth. He silently offered me an unopened beer can and I took it. I had already consumed more alcohol tonight than I had in my entire life, so I suppose there wasn’t any point in stopping now. We sat there silent for a while, readjusting to each-other's presence as we both sipped our drinks, enjoying the stillness of it all. 

“I don’t really know how to start this…” He was the first one to break the silence. “But I do know that I need to apologize to you.” Well, that was a start.

I nodded and hummed into my now half empty can, waiting for him to continue. I needed to apologize too, but I was being stubborn. I suppose I was full of surprises tonight, maybe I _should_ drink more. 

“Right, well… I am sorry, you know. I shouldn’t have let things go that far, I know Eren is your best friend and I shouldn’t have fought him like that but… I don’t know Armin. Something just came over me I guess and I fucking snapped. I always felt like there was something more going on between you two and it just… it had been bothering me for so long I just finally took it out on him.” He let out a huff that was supposed to sound like a laugh and took another swig of his drink, “Guess I deserved to get my ass kicked then, huh?”

“I just don’t get it Jean… we were together for so long and I knew you guys didn’t like each other but had you really been holding all of that in the whole time? Did you just not trust me? And if that was the case then why did you even bother? And if that isn’t the case then why did you never call me after? For the past few weeks I thought you must have hated me by now and… I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do. So I guess I just didn’t do anything…”

“Armin, it’s not like that! This whole thing is just… well it’s just because I’m an asshole, I guess. It’s not that I didn’t trust you, I did. I still do even, if that makes any sense. I just… I guess I just thought he was always trying to drive a wedge between us, even if he wasn’t. I still don’t know the extent of your guys’ relationship and I know it’s not any of my business, especially not now but… I don’t know. Maybe I was just jealous. I was a shitty boyfriend from the start and even though I knew that… well I was too selfish to let you go.”

“You weren’t a bad boyfriend Jean… you know I really cared about you, I still do. I just… well there was a lot I was dealing with when it came to Eren, something I never talked about with anyone. I’m not going to bother to tell you exactly how much he means to me but… I guess it was my fault for holding onto something that wasn’t going to happen as long as I was with you. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m sorry. I should have done something about it a long time ago but… I guess I was just too scared of what might happen, of losing either of you.” 

There was another silence, where we just sat letting the words hang in the air. There was still a lot left to be said between the two of us, but I suppose it didn’t really matter now. We’d apologized and gotten most of what we needed off our chests, now all that is left is to figure out where to go from here. The idea of losing Jean completely left me with a sort of empty feeling and hoped that that wasn’t where we were headed. But if he needed me completely out of his life to start over, I wasn’t going to force my way back in.

“Hey Jean… Do you hate me?” I said it softly, like the sentence was enough to make him realize that he did, in fact, hate me. But he just chuckled and threw an arm around my shoulders.

“Armin I could never hate you. I don’t think anyone could ever hate you.” 

“So… Can we be friends then? And not the kind of friends where we barely say ‘hi’ to each other at parties but actual friends, who still talk and everything like that? I understand if you need your space but…”

“Of course we’re still going to be friends. For a genius you’re still pretty dense sometimes, huh?”

I laughed and elbowed him in the ribs, “shut up.” 

After we had spent some time just sitting and talking outside, we decided to rejoin the party, our newly reformed friendship well intact. Jean had asked what had happened between Marco and me in the bathroom some hours ago and I told him. He in turn told me about his and Eren’s short lived adventure together while they had searched for us. The whole thing had made me feel significantly lighter, all the tension and anxiety I had been holding onto this whole night was suddenly gone. Everything was going to be okay; Jean and I could remain friends, real friends, and we could hang out again like we used to, well maybe not exactly like we used to. I could pass by him and Marco in the halls and not feel the least bit of contempt for either of them, in fact I knew I would be able to smile and wave at them. Perhaps, we could all be friends, the four of us. Maybe Eren and Jean would be able to bury the hatchet of their old rivalry, and although I’m sure they’ll still argue all the time, it would be mostly friendly between us. I smiled at the thought of that. 

After we had made it through the throng of people in the entry way of the house, Jean and I went our separate ways. It wasn’t long before I found Eren standing around with Mikasa and Annie in the backyard. Apparently they had been watching a heated match of beer pong between Reiner and Connie. The two had become over competitive and were abandoned by their team mates and lovers. When I made my way into the group Eren pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead and Mikasa shot us both a questioning look, I guess he hadn’t bothered to explain anything to her yet. I wasn’t sure if I was grateful for that or not, but it was something we could discuss another day.

“How did everything go?” Eren asked tentatively. 

“It was fine. We both apologized for everything and honestly I’m just glad that I got everything off my chest.” I smiled and leaned into his side. “You know, I think we’re all going to be friends after this.” Eren choked on his drink a bit before he shot me another questioning look.

“Is that what you want? You want all of us to be friends? Because I’m not so sure Jean and I are going to get along.” I laughed and halfheartedly swatted at his side.

“Oh, I know you two won’t get along. But Marco and I are friends now, so I guess you two will just have to deal with it.”

He pulled me into another hug and chuckled into the crown of my hair. “If that’s what you want…” And it was. It seemed like for once, I was getting everything I wanted. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we stayed like that for a while, until it was difficult for me to keep my eyes open much longer. I hadn’t realized until I had relaxed into him just how tired I was. Now, all I wanted to do was sleep and I longed for it all that much more knowing that I’d be sleeping in his arms.”

“Let’s go home.” I said with a yawn.

“Yeah… Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I think thats about it for this fic! Sorry it was later than usual and a little on the short side. I've been having weird medical problems all week, one of which makes my left hand completely numb so it was a bit difficult to type. Don't worry though everything is going to be fine. Also, I'm writing an alternate ending to this chapter that is going to be very nsfw so look out for that. It will be posted as a separate piece but ties into this story. I hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you for all the lovely messages! And as always, you can follow me on tumblr at tsunhimesama (: <33


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